What does it mean to know?

With regard to knowing how others feel, the word "know" has many different meanings.  It is unfortunate we do not have a different word for each meaning.  For example, "knowmeu" for direct experience of similar situations that others have had:  "I knowmeu how you feel."   

And then "knowinfo" - as in know that people usually go through Kubler-Ross' 5 stages of grief when they experience a loss ( http://www.memorialhospital.org/library/general/stress-the-3.html ).  Conflating these versions of know often gives rise to discussion or argument, which is really about definition of terms rather than real disagreement.  Know is not like "love" which also has myriad different meanings, but we can usually approximate the meaning from the context.  (Though sometimes we have to clarify, eg. "I love you, but I don't love you."  Don't you hate being the recipient of that one!) 

As for knowing how someone feels, I do not think people can legitimately say, I know how you feel.  This is because the speaker's experiences, background and perspectives on death, life, etc. are often dramatically different from the other persons.  For me to say I know how you feel implies I experience the world (at least somewhat) the same way that you do.  While this seems empathetic, it either makes the other person's feelings seem "common" and accessible to just about anyone; or it makes me special because I can share the feeling.  Either way, it seems a problematic remark to someone having a bad time of it.

Prof Atchison raises a question on the "knowinfo" form of knowing as it pertains to psychological research, I do not believe a psychologist would have to share an experience in order to study loss or grief.  This would perhaps even cloud that research.  Of course, this is the "knowinfo" form of knowing that the researcher is cataloging.  Thanks!  Todd