In response to Gwendolyn, Ross, and Anna

It has been a very difficult week, and our discussion on the topic of whether we can know how someone feels or even say that we know how they feel has become a reality for me.  My brother in-law passed away most unexpectedly last week in a motorcycle accident.  He left behind my sister and two sons ages 19 and 13.  I too have lost my father, but this during the time while I was an adult with children at home.  When at the funeral while talking with my nephews I had to say to them, honestly, that I did not know what they must be going through and yet I could feel their pain and grieving for I too went through a similar experience of loss of someone deeply close to me.  The difference is that I was never 13 years old and to see this loss through those eyes.  Especially with my knowledge of what his future could be, if for him his father were still alive... this sense of loss is… well… lost on me.